As everyone knows, it’s very important to make that first impression count. Here are some tips from a woman who went to charm school when she was 12 (please, hold down the laughter).
Making the right impression
1. Police those nose hairs! Yes, I mean you, too, gents. There is nothing more
distracting than meeting someone for the first time and all you can see is hair that is growing where it should not be.
Please — this is why God invented tweezers! Scissors will do in a pinch, too, but be careful you don’t cut something you’ll need. And if you’re into high-tech gadgets, you can find plenty of electronic nose-hair trimmers online. They come in all shapes, colors and sizes and are delivered in a plain brown wrapper to lessen embarrassment.
2. Tone down the fragrance. And yes, I mean you, too, ladies! Put on your favorite smells one hour before you will be among the people you’re trying to impress. This will give your fragrance a chance to evaporate a bit to the level it was intended to be enjoyed.
Bonus tip: Use spray-on stuff only, if you can. Smearing it on with your finger or — God forbid! — rubbing your wrists together only smashes all the fragrance molecules at the same time. Making you smell, as my young niece once famously said, like a “French horn.”
Perfumes are created release their notes over a period of time, not all at once. Do your companions a favor. Please.
3. Get a grip. If there’s one thing that bugs me the most, is the Dead Fish Handshake. When it comes to shaking a woman’s hand, many men — and women — think it’s perfectly OK to gently grasp the fingers only and maybe give a little squeeze.
This is just gross. Not only that, it’s insulting, too. It tells the poor schlub on the receiving end that you believe they are a weakling. No one wants to be told they are weak. Trust me on this: No one, man or woman, will die as the result of a firm handshake.
On the other hand, knuckle-crushers are not cool either. This is not a competition. If you still don’t have the hang of it, practice, people, practice! For a complete diatribe on what not to do when it comes to shaking hands, click here.
4. Stay sober. This should be a no-brainer, but I’m amazed at the number of people I meet who (a) are hung over from last night’s binge, (b) drink heavily at an event or (c) show up drunk to begin with. Or all three.
The thing about overdrinking the night before is that your body is probably still exuding the processed alcohol, creating an unpleasant odor in your immediate environment that will be noticeable to anyone who gets in your personal space.
And I get that you may be nervous, meeting a bunch of new people for the first time. But that’s still no reason to belt back a few before you hit the event or consume alcohol on the premises as if Prohibition were about to be enacted. If you must drink, get something relatively low proof and just carry it around with you, sipping slowly.
5. Be interested, not interesting. Again, this is a mistake many people make when they get nervous — they psyche themselves up to hold a conversation with a stranger and end up dominating it. And then there are others who are so wrapped up in themselves that all they can talk about is themselves.
Here’s a list of sample open-ended questions that you can use that will make you more comfortable when you talk with strangers. Try them; they’ll think you’re a brilliant conversationalist. And then listen!
What an interesting field you’re in! How did you come to take that career path?
You’re from Nowhere, Nebraska? What was it like, growing up there?
What does your job entail?
What’s the thing you like most about what you’re doing?
What’s the most important piece of advice you have for someone going into your industry?
What is the biggest faux pas you see on the “first impressions” front? I’d love to add it to my collection! Please leave your comments below.