What a wonderful webinar last week on negotiation skills for women! Nearly 40 women signed up for the presentation and provided wonderful feedback.
Some questions arose that I was unable to see (yes, operator error – but at least now I know!). For the benefit of those who were in the webinar – and those who weren’t – here are the questions that were asked and my responses. While there was a variety of topics, the thread that ties all the responses together is the need to be prepared for the best result.
Negotiations planning
Q: Do you recommend negotiating raises outside of the performance review?
A: Oh heck yes! Why not? If you’ve got the facts and supporting data to justify your ask, why not? What’s the worst boss can do? Say “no”? At least your cards are on the table – your boss knows what you want and you’ve supported your request for the raise. This gives your boss the time to ponder how to give you the big raise you deserve when the official review comes up.
Q: I am a project manager in charge of quality management. When I try to bring up the quality deviations that I noticed, my counterpart – the technical project manager – doesn’t respond to my mails but when I call him, he says that he discussed with his team. No minutes recorded.
He also has issues as I am a female project manager. I also noticed that he takes information from me and gets the stuff implemented by his team. How to deal or negotiate with these kinds of personalities?
A: You don’t negotiate with this guy at all. Any quality assurance manager is in place to make sure the product is safe and meets industry standards – and that, to me, is non-negotiable. What you have is a passive-aggressive personality who is not doing his job properly.
It’s important that you have an electronic paper trail – put everything in writing. Everything. When you have run-ins with him that don’t require action, make a note to your files and date it. What you said, what he said, what it was about, who was there, etc. Eventually, you may want to report him to Human Resources because he is creating a hostile working environment, and having documentation will be vital to support your position.
Copy your supervisor on all your emails to the other project manager. And don’t call to follow up. Keep it to emails, saying something like, “I haven’t heard back from you on my email of XX date. What was the outcome of this situation?”
Here’s how you handle him stealing your ideas: Again, send him an email telling him you are pleased that he implemented your idea on XYZ and be sure to let you know how it’s worked.
Q: What happens when the answer is, “That’s all I can afford”?
A: It’s vital to have three options prepared, and in hand, before you go into your session. I’m assuming that you have asked for the biggest amount that you can justify with the facts. That’s your Option A.
What is Option B? What will you take as the middle ground? What concessions will you ask for? “I’ll take 10% off if you give me XX in return” kind of thing.
And what is Option C: Your rock-bottom number? The point below you will not go?
There is an Option D, too – just walk away. Thank them for their time and leave. But don’t do that until you’ve gone through the other options.
Coming up with all this information takes a good deal of work ahead of time, but it’s worth it. It allows you to keep your cool under pressure and moving forward to getting what you want and boosts your self-confidence.
About credentials
I have a B.A (Honors) in business management with marketing that I never mention to clients because I feel like it’s not a big deal/don’t want to brag.
A: Girl, you need to get over that! It IS a big deal! It not only shows that you’ve got formal education in your field, but that you have grit and determination and focus and can stay the course.
All these are important, almost subliminal factors in your negotiations. They add to your credibility. If you do not have this information on your website, you must add it right this minute!
But definitely weave that information into your negotiations conversations: “One of things I learned while getting my BA with honors in marketing is that…” or “On my way to earning my business degree with honors I discovered that…”
Don’t do it gratuitously. It has to make sense and it has to be relevant. It’s all part of the planning process.
And remember, it’s not bragging if it’s true.
About body language
I got advice in the past to not put your hands in your lap at the negotiation table and put your hands up on the table. Watch men. That’s what they do and now I do, too.
Absolutely correct! Putting your hands on the table is more assertive than folding them nicely (and meekly) folded in your lap. I’ll be sure to add that to my repertoire. Thanks for bringing it up.
Negotiations planning is vital. Be deliberate. Be thoughtful. And be prepared.
Do you have any additional questions about specific tactics for negotiations? Please add them below and I’ll answer next week (God willing the creek don’t rise!).
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If you are frightened by the idea of sticking up for yourself, I strongly recommend you read the article, “Why women need to learn negotiation skills.”