I’ll never forget the day I told someone I was a coach and explained what that is (yes, there are a lot of people who don’t know).
“Huh,” he said. “Sounds like a best friend to me.”
Yes…and no.
Coaching: Better than a best friend
A coach and her client do end up developing a great relationship. How can you not when you share the joy of someone’s personal journey of discovery and growth, and help them create the future they’ve always dreamed of?
Best friends do that, too. But sometimes besties will tell you what you want to hear, rather than challenge you on your thoughts or beliefs about yourself.
Sometimes our choices and decisions can strain even the best relationship – like when one person moves across the country for a better job, for example, and the other is left behind. Or they choose a life partner the friend cannot tolerate.
Best friends see you through the lens of their relationship with you. The same goes for a significant other or family member – times 10.
This is why I tell people “Don’t try this at home!” (Spouses always come across as nags…not good for a relationship.)
Coaches see you as you present yourself through your words and actions, with no historic filter to color or soften the view. We see you with fresh eyes and can spot where you undervalue yourself, point out inconsistencies in your thinking and help you realize there are always more than two choices in any given situation.
A coach is your champion – for whatever you want to do – and your accountability partner. We work together to turn challenges into victories. We move as fast as you’re willing to go and it is typically a fun and joyous ride, for both of us.
Coaching is about personal and professional development. It’s about visioning, building behavior patterns and creating systems that will help your achieve your goals. We encourage you to think in broader terms, to explore paths that you may have never considered.
Creating a new future
A perfect example of that: One of my clients started coaching because she was wanted to get back into corporate consulting, after a hiatus of several months. The very next week, she told me, “You know what? Screw that. I don’t want to get back into that rat race. What I really want to do is sell my house, move to another area I love and open a bed-and-breakfast. That’s what would make me happy.”
Talk about a 180-degree turn! Today, she and her husband are busy decluttering their lives, preparing their house for sale, checking out appropriate real estate in their target community and moving forward, every week, toward a new goal…and a new life.
Not everyone makes such dramatic changes, of course. But in every case, we work together to create a design for where you want to go and explore multiple strategies to help you get there.
We focus on actions and outcomes. Every week, I have up to three “coaching requests” based on what we’ve talked about during that call. If they sound good and you agree, great! If you’ve got your own goals, fantastic! The whole point of coaching is that you get to choose, take charge of your own life.
And Jackie will be there the next week, asking, “So…how did it go? What did you accomplish? What did you not get done that you wanted to get done? How can we move forward this week?”
On occasion, some people come to me with issues that get my warning antennae up and waving in the breeze. Each time, I asked, “Have you considered therapy?” And in a few instances, I have told them I cannot help them and recommend they seek help from a qualified mental health professional.
I am here to help you design your future, not get beyond your past. And I can’t think of anything I’d rather do.
Have you ever had a coach? What was your experience? If not, what’s holding you back?