We all know that self-esteem helps us feel good about ourselves and our abilities. But did you also know that self-esteem is important to keep you healthy as well?
Researchers have learned that healthy self-esteem – the positive and generally optimistic regard we have for ourselves and our capabilities – is directly connected to how well we handle stress. And stress can have some pretty dire physical complications if left unaddressed.
Some of those conditions include exhaustion, depression, sleep disorders, low energy levels, headaches, chest pains, and frequent colds and infections. Stress can damage the neuroendocrine system that regulates many body processes, including digestion, moods and emotion and even sexuality.
People who think well of themselves generally have less stress in their lives – not because their lives are perfect and carefree, but because they find it easier to rise to challenges.
Opportunities, not challenges
It’s a perceptual thing. When something unanticipated comes up – good or bad – they tend to see these events as wonderful opportunities. Because they think well of themselves and their abilities, they know they have what it takes to create a positive outcome. They anticipate success instead of failure. That means when they get stressed, they are much less likely to get upset over whatever situation causes it.
People with low self-esteem, on the other hand, see the identical challenges as insurmountable burdens. They feel “less than,” incapable of handling them and generally incompetent. They have convinced themselves that they are doomed to failure. They believe they do not have what it takes and feel helpless, powerless and overwhelmed.
Yeah. That would stress me out, too.
One of the best ways to boost your self-confidence and your self-esteem is to take a strengths inventory because you truly are better, smarter and stronger than you think. Also, when you get into stressful situations, pay close attention to what you’re saying to yourself. Ask, “Is this true or just a story I’m telling myself?”
Another key element to having good self-esteem, and less stress, is to have great assertiveness skills. People with low self-esteem tend to get dumped on – by friends, work colleagues, family members – because they don’t know how to say “no.”
When you stand up for yourself, your stress level goes down and your self-esteem and you become healthy in body and mind. What’s not to like?
Assertiveness skills are not rocket science. Anyone can learn them and, with practice, they will become second nature.
How to manage stress
Even people with good self-esteem can succumb to consistently high levels of stress over long periods of time. So whether it is writing things down or speaking to friends/family about how you feel, there are a number of ways that people can manage their stress levels. Here are a few:
- Improve your time management
- Practice deep breathing
- Take a 1-minute vacation – in your head
- Get sleep — Sleep is important to help you function. If you are getting inadequate sleep, you may want to consider getting a new mattress.
Research indicates that one of the best ways to combat stress and consequently improve your self-esteem is to have a social support system in place.
A social support network consists of family, friends and peers who are there for us. These people appreciate us, flaws and all, and help meet our needs. Those needs may vary from getting a lift to work when we get a flat tire to having a shoulder to cry on when things get tough.
The effectiveness of a great social support system was demonstrated in a 1989 study of women with breast cancer. Two groups of patients were created; one had a support system in place and the control group did not.
The women who had a support network not only had fewer stressors, but they lived, on average, 18 months longer compared to the control group.
Social support systems aren’t just about getting support from others, but giving it, too. A 2003 study showed that people 65 and older who gave support to others lived longer than people who did not.
What’s your best advice for combating stress? Please share in the comments; I’d love to hear!