Christmas is right around the corner and this can cause all kinds of internal conflict in the office. One woman wrote to me:
“Buying gifts for all my co-workers and boss really aggravates me. I don’t buy presents for my own family, and I resent having to put out good money for people I know only casually. What should I do?”
This is an excellent question that deserves an excellent answer. I wish I had one for you. The best I can do is, “It depends.”
It depends on your company policy (the bigger the company, the more likely there will be a strict in-house gift policy). It depends on what’s traditionally been done.
But ultimately, it depends on your own comfort level – financial and emotional.
Giving gifts to coworkers
If everyone in your office buys gifts for everyone else, now is the time to speak up. Tell your colleagues individually that you cannot participate in gift-giving and you would feel more comfortable if they did not buy you anything.
You can say anything from “Just working with you is gift enough for me” or, if that gags you, try, “Even a nice card would be sufficient.”
What you don’t say:
“I hate the commercialization of Christmas.”
“I’m having a really tough time financially this year.”
“I don’t believe in Christmas.”
Because it’s none of their business.
Another alternative: Ask your boss to consider a ban on personal gift-giving. Tell him it makes you uncomfortable and why, if it’s not too personal.
If you don’t want to go that far, suggest a “Secret Santa” gift exchange. This is how it works: Everyone’s name goes into a hat. Each employee pulls one name, and then buys a gift just for that one person.
Secret Santa gift exchanges should have a price limit that makes it affordable for even the lowest-paid employee. The average is $15-$20.
But if your office has a gift exchange like this and you don’t want to participate, you handle it the same way: “Thanks, but no. I cannot participate this year.” You don’t have to buy for anyone and no one has to buy for you. No reasons, no excuses. A plain, simple, “No thank you” will be sufficient.
Alternative 3: Consider something that everyone in your department could enjoy. It could be a platter of cookies, special holiday treats, food tray or a basket of fruit. Keep in mind that many people have dietary restrictions and cannot have sugar. Some may be vegetarians.
You also may want to give inexpensive gift cards to the local coffee shop, flowers or plants for the office or a donation to a charity in the name of your work group. If you choose the latter, be sure to pick a charity that everyone will feel good about supporting.
If you’re the boss and wondering about giving presents to your employees, consider the options above if your company’s budget does not allow for holiday bonuses. You could also give a free day off to your employees or visit a company similar to Blueboard, that may be able to give you some inspiring ideas on gifts for employees.
Giving gifts to the boss
Back in the olden days, it was considered bad form to give gifts to those higher up the chain of command. Giving a gift to your boss was considered brown-nosing, and no one wants that label hanging around their necks.
Those same rules said it was OK for supervisors to give gifts to their subordinates – as long as they didn’t expect something in return.
What works for you depends on your office culture.
Giving gifts to clients
You own your business and have no colleagues or boss to worry about – except, of course, your clients. What to do, what to do?
When giving gifts to clients:
- Give it some thought, and buy your gift ahead of time.
- Wrap it nicely. Put in a hand-written note.
- Make sure it’s appropriate. Lacy undergarments are out.
- Don’t spend huge sums of money, and don’t pick up your gift at the dollar store.
- All the experts say alcohol is a no-no. It may be the season to be jolly, but your recipient may be struggling with alcohol dependency.
- Don’t assume everyone shares your tastes. That goes for food, music and humor…no gag gifts, please.
Finally, if you cannot afford to give any gifts at all, consider giving a service or product for free. A month of XYZ. A free ABC.
At the very least, go for a nice holiday card (carefully non-religious, if you are unsure of the recipients’ beliefs) with a hand-written note inside, telling them how much you appreciate their business.
How do you handle gift-giving for colleagues and clients? I’d love your take!