How to give yourself a confidence makeover

Feeling down in the dumps? Beating yourself up for not looking like a super-model? Can’t find the right job — or any job — or clients are thin on the ground? You’re probably overdue for a confidence makeover.

How to boost your self-confidence

Here are some tips that will help you do just that.

• My A-Number 1 go-to solution: Learn how to be an effective public speaker. I cannot emphasize enough how much confidence you will gain — in every area of your life — once you learn how to get in front of a group of people and speak intelligently to them. Please note I used the word “learn” several times, and there’s a reason for that. There may be great public speakers who were born that way, but the rest of us have to do it the old-fashioned way — by learning how to do it. That should be good news for all you smart people who nevertheless are terrified by the idea of standing in front a room full of people. And as with any other skill, the more you do it, the better you will get and the more self-confident you will feel. Find a Toastmasters group in your area and sign up! It will be the absolute best investment of your time that you can make.
• Dress for it: Back in my newspaper editor days, I knew there would be times when the you-know-what would hit the fan as soon as the paper hit the street. Those were the days I pulled my armor — my favorite red dress — out of the closet. It was well-made, fit well and made me feel like a million bucks. And guess what? When I was wearing my red dress, no one EVER gave me grief. The dress made me psychologically bullet-proof, and other people knew it. If you don’t have your own version of a red dress in your closet, go get one. Spend whatever you need to spend in order to KNOW you look fabulous…and powerful. It works.
• Dump the Negative Nellies: If you’ve got people around you who are nibbling away at your self-confidence, time to get rid of them. Bless them and release them from your life, if you can. If you can’t, limit your exposure to them.
• Feed your brain: What would you like to learn? Quantum physics? How to take great photographs, graft plants, tune your engine…anything at all? Spend some time doing that. And if it’s not related directly to your job or your business, give yourself bonus points. Being a well-rounded human being is just another of multiple ways to feel better about yourself.
• Get off your butt: Physical activity of any kind will not only improve your health, but will improve your self-confidence. Walk, ride your bike, pump iron, putter in the garden…whatever. Just move.
• Do one thing: We all have something (multiple somethings, probably) that we want to change or improve. Focus on one and get going. If it’s a big goal, be sure to break it into little steps, and celebrate your successes along the way.
• Mirror work: This was huge for me, back in the days when my personal and professional lives were simultaneously combusting. It’s a simple exercise but not always easy. Go to a mirror, look yourself in the eye and say, “I love you.” The harder it is to do this, the more you need to do it. It took me months (I kid you not) to be able to reach the point where it didn’t feel fake to say it. Every time you see a mirror or even just a reflection of yourself, say those three words. And keep saying them till you mean it, no matter how long it takes.
• I Am: I started the I Am Alphabet Game in my Time Tips time management group on Facebook and I could not believe how strongly it resonated with group members. Here’s how you do it: Each day, pick one letter of the alphabet. Use that letter to describe how you are or how you wish to be. It must be a positive word and it must be how you feel about yourself — not how others would describe you. None of this, “Well, my husband says I’m beautiful” or “My boss tells me I’m really efficient.” Start with A, and complete the sentence, “I am a____.” I am accomplished, active, accountable and so on. Go ahead and have fun with it. It will take you another step down the road to becoming more self-confident.

These tips should get you started. Use them, practice them and keep moving ahead. One day, you’ll look in the mirror and realize you do love yourself. That when you wear your power outfit, no one messes with you. That pretty soon you’re begging for the chance to speak to groups.

Tell me your best tip for boosting self-confidence. What’s worked for you? I’d love to hear!