The holidays are right around the corner. Are you “ho-ho-ho-ing” yet? Or is your sense of humor as crumpled as last year’s tinsel?
Relax. Only a few days left to go. As your coach, I assure you – you can do this!
Between now and then, here are some tips to help you banish stress by keeping your sense of humor during the holidays.
How to stay sane during the holidays
- Avoid family members. Yes, yes, I know the holidays are supposed to be all about gathering ‘round the Christmas tree with loved ones but seriously – there’s a reason why you moved away. Can’t remember that far back? Just wait 20 minutes after the crowd arrives and it will all come back to you. Important note: This is YOUR family I’m talking about. Mine is perfect in every way.
- Drink juuuuuust enough to dull the edges. There’s a fine line here that you do not want to cross. You’re going to need a bit of anesthetizing, but you don’t want to get so drunk that you tell Great-Uncle Sal that you’ve heard his story 6 gazillion times before and will he. Just. Shut. It. Or tell your cousin Fred that he really needs to do something about his halitosis. Or – horror of horrors! – you are in such good holiday spirits that you unable to drive yourself home and must spend the night, sleeping on floor, right where you passed out. Unless, of course, your point is to avoid all members for the rest of your life…in which case, salud!
- Practice selective hearing. This is a must when some goober breaks out the karaoke machine and wants you to do a solo “12 Days of Christmas.” Just keep saying, at increasing volume, “What? What? WHAT DID YOU SAY?” until they wander off, looking for someone who is more inebriated than you are.
- Find great gag gifts. Honestly, no one wants your stinky toilet water, which you picked up only because it was 3 bucks. Go for the toilet paper, instead; just be sure it’s disguised. And speaking of which…
- Mess with people’s heads. I know – cruel, right? My Uncle Joe was rightfully famous in our family for misleading gift-wrapping – which I completely embraced. One of my most vivid childhood memories was when Uncle Joe cleverly stuffed a pair of cheap bedroom slippers in a velvet ring box and gave it to my Aunt Jo. Of course, when she opened the box, the slippers exploded out like a pair of pheasants from the tall grass. Haha! That Uncle Joe! His wife didn’t speak to him for several weeks – which, now that I think on it, might have been the whole point. Try it. I have used empty paper towel rolls, outsized boxes, string and more to make bizarre, misshapen boxes for Christmas gifts. It’s loads of fun! For you, at least.
- Share “homemade” goodies you picked up at the grocery store. This is one of the best ways to retain your holiday humor. While others are going to pulling out all the stops to impress people they will not see for another 364 days, you can spend your time more wisely – by fortifying yourself with a quick shot of your favorite adult beverage, for example. Important caveat: Do NOT take your offering on the cheap plastic tray that came with the food. Very low class! Buy your own cheap plastic tray and transfer your grocery-store bounty to it. Who will know you didn’t grow those celery sticks yourself? No one!
- For the kids on your gift list…noisemakers! This works best if you never, ever want to be invited to their parents’ house again,
or if you have a long-simmering grievance with the family as a whole. The general rule of thumb – the more the parents annoy you, the louder the toy should be. Just saying. And yes, you can blame me. If the parents are that annoying, I don’t want to be invited to their house, either. - Tell dumb jokes. Like, “How long does it take to burn a Christmas candle? A whole wick!” Or “What do you get when you cross mistletoe and a duck? A Christmas quacker!” Or “What did the ornament say to the Christmas tree? I’m tired of hanging around!” Please note this also makes an excellent exit line when you’ve just had it. Leave ’em laughing, I always say.
or if you have a long-simmering grievance with the family as a whole. The general rule of thumb – the more the parents annoy you, the louder the toy should be. Just saying. And yes, you can blame me. If the parents are that annoying, I don’t want to be invited to their house, either.Finally, and perhaps the most important tip of all:
- Remember – this, too, shall pass. Thank God, it only happens once a year. Keep that firmly in mind and have a great holiday!
P.S. Gift-giving rules in the office are a wee bit different…although I wouldn’t entirely rule out cheap toilet water.
What’s your funniest holiday memory? I’d love to hear. I could use a chuckle. 😉