Fully 92 percent of people break their New Year’s resolutions, and based on my experience, it’s pretty much self-sabotage.
Here are some of the top ways people set themselves up for failure.
Too many goals
I saw a list of resolutions recently that had 34 items on it — with a target date six months away!
It’s great to have lots of goals and I applaud anyone’s efforts to make positive changes in their lives. But trying to make 34 significant life changes in six months is simply insane — and setting yourself up for failure. Don’t do that to yourself!
If your list has more than three major goals, start slicing and dicing.
Goals are too broad
Look at the most common resolution on most people’s list –- lose weight.
That’s a great over-arching goal, an achievement that can be celebrated miles down the road. But expecting to lose a significant amount of weight right out of the starting block is like expecting to wake up one morning in another person’s body.
Resolutions are too vague
This takes “too broad” a step further. “Lose weight” is nice, but it’s important to have specific numbers attached to it. Like X pounds per week. Goals need to be measurable and that generally means having a numerical goal.
Goals are unrealistic
“I will lose 5 pounds a week” gets closer to where you want to be, but is 5 pounds a week doable? I did that — once. I was 18 years old, put myself on a very strict diet and rode my bike miles and miles every day. No way I could replicate that as a mature (ahem) adult. Maybe under strict medical supervision it could be done, but for most of us “lose at home” types, a weight loss of 1-2 pounds is not only realistic, but desirable from a health standpoint.
Goals are too big
“I will lose 1 pound a week until I weigh 90 pounds” is certainly narrowly focused, has realistic and specific metrics…so far, so good. However, is 90 pounds an achievable goal?
Few normal adults could weigh 90 pounds and maintain any quality of life at all. For most of us, weighing 90 pounds would be seriously underweight, which would have as many dangerous medical consequences as being morbidly obese.
Some things are simply out of reach — I don’t care how much you want it and how hard you work for it. Your goals should have some stretch, but don’t make yourself crazy trying for something you’ll never achieve.
You will probably never be a prima ballerina, but there’s no reason why you can’t be a killer ballroom dancer. Adjust your sights.
Most of us make New Year’s resolutions because we want to make changes in our lives that ultimately will make us healthier and happier. That’s a good instinct and well worth pursuing.
So don’t toss that list of resolutions just yet. Go back to your 16-page list and look at it again.
- Create categories. Are there connections among your goals? Maybe there are a lot related to weight, exercise, stress reduction, etc., that could be lumped under the category “Health.” Or you might discover that you have many work/career related resolutions.
Group as many of your resolutions as you can into as few categories as you can get away with. See if you can narrow them down to three broad categories.
- Rank goals. Which is the very most important to you? Here’s a hint: It will be the one that has the most resolutions in that category.
When you find it, pat yourself on the back. You’ve found your No. A-1 priority. Now start plotting your route from here to there. Set out small, measurable steps that show your progress, and give them a realistic deadline. Celebrate when you reach a milestone.
And don’t beat yourself up if you wander off the path now and again. It’s not the end of the world; you can always find your way back. If you have an accountability partner, like a coach, you are that much closer to reaching your goals.
In what way do you sabotage your goals?