All of a sudden, it seems like I’m beset by challenges. My cat is sick and needs expensive medicine. My water heater broke and flooded my utility room (hello, cold showers!). One of my teeth broke a few weeks back and had to be fixed, I have been eyeing up some Snap on veneers just in case. And a trip that I’ve been planning with my elderly mother gets further and further away from reality.
I’ve cried more in the last three days that I have in the last three years. And believe me, I hate to cry.
So what the heck to do, short of robbing a bank?
Keep on keepin’ on…and focus on the power of “yes.”
Yes, I can — find the money. Yes, I can — look for alternatives. Yes, I can — make it through this. Yes, I can — move forward. Yes, I can…
Yes. Yes. Yes.
Because I also know that to focus on “no,” to focus lack, scarcity, pain and suffering just doesn’t work. Let me take that back: It DOES work, but not in any useful, productive way. It certainly does not bring joy and abundance into our lives.
It’s important to know when to say “no”; this is the way we set healthy boundaries for our behavior and the behavior we except (and demand) from others. But when it comes to living our own lives, focusing on the negative at the very least causes worry, illness, dis-ease, tunnel vision and more. At the worst, focusing on the “no” brings more of the same into our lives.
And we need more negativity in our lives…why?
So how about you? Do you find yourself challenged? Overwhelmed?
When to say ‘yes’
Try saying “yes.” To everything. To the crappy weather, the glitchy computer, the annoying people around you, the trying situations you find yourself in. Saying “yes” helps us accept what is, and loses its power over us. It allows us to find that still space inside us that frees us, opens us to the possibility — the certainty — of better things. Because we all know that better things ARE ahead.
Saying “yes” releases the negative energy of “no” in such a way that brings a new level relaxation and peace.
It did for me. While taking my morning walk with my friend Karen, I was fretting (and crying over) the fact that, with all these other expenses piling up, it looked as if my “trip of a lifetime” with Mom just was not going to happen. I was devastated.
“What are the alternatives?” she asked. “Isn’t the important thing to spend time with your mom? Wouldn’t she be just as happy if you flew to Minnesota and spent time with her?”
Ahh…Yes.
At some level, I knew that, but I was so focused on the special trip and what it would take to make it come true that I was closed off to other possibilities, digging myself deeper and deeper into “no,” with all the bad feelings that go along with it.
So I said “yes.” And immediately I felt an enormous weight fall from my shoulders. I started thinking, “What if I said ‘yes’ to the other things that are bothering me, too?”
I began to reframe my thoughts: Yes, my cat is sick. Yes, I know what’s wrong. Yes, he can be made better through treatment. Yes, my tooth broke. Yes, it is half-way fixed and feeling so much better. Yes, the final work will be done next week. Yes, my water heater blew up. Yes, I still have electricity and can heat up water until I can get a new one.
Yes, my vacation plans with Mom are out of reach. Yes, the important thing is that I spend time with her. Yes, I can do that by visiting her, and making day trips that fit into her chemotherapy schedule.
The power of “yes” has changed everything. I feel an increased sense of relief, release, ease and openness.
If you’re going through similar issues, saying “yes” may feel fake and grudging at first. Do it anyway. Eventually, you will feel your spirit expand. Your jaw muscles will unclench. The knot in your gut will loosen.
By saying “yes,” the things that aggravate you will lessen their hold, and move through your life (and your body) with less effort — and less impact.
And say “yes” to new things in your life, new challenges, new people, new ways of looking at things. How would things be different if you did? What are the possibilities? Because we know what possibilities are when you say “no:” None. You are closed off. You stay where you are. You keep doing what you’ve been doing and if you’re not in a good place right now, the only thing you’ve got to lose is your unhappiness.
Say “yes,” acknowledge what is, and you can take steps to change it.
How will you say “yes” today?