Q: How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Just one – but the light bulb really has to want to change.
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There’s an old wives’ tale that declares it only takes 21 days to change a habit.
Piffle, I say!
Show me the person who has broken a bad habit in three weeks, and I’ll show you someone who’s just been indulging in a passing fancy. They don’t really have a “habit” — it’s just something that they’ve been playing with.
But if they are not a dilettante and they have changed a habit in 21 days, then they — like the light bulb — really wanted to change. They had the motivation to start, and the motivation to stick with it.
The best motivation: Move toward, not away
Two major types of motivation star in this passion play — “push away” from something and “move toward” something.
“Away from” is a great way to get jump-started and it’s generally precipitated by a crisis:
- You’re struggling for breath, so you stop smoking.
- Your pants are too tight, so you go on a diet.
- You can’t find that important (fill in the blank), so you go on a cleaning binge.
But this type of “push away” motivation has two major, inherent problems:
- Law of Attraction. You get what you focus on and by concentrating too much on the negative, that’s what you’ll bring into your life. It’s how your brain is wired. Like a dog that only hears “walk” when you say “no walk,” your brain will conjure “snacks” when you think “no snacks.”
- It’s short term. As soon as you start getting glimpses of the Promised Land, you start to slack off. It’s human.
To avoid those pitfalls, you’ll need “move toward” motivation to keep you going forward through the rest of your life.
Creative visualization and an easy way to make new habits are integral to the process. That means, instead of thinking “no fat” or “getting fat,” imagine your life at your ideal weight.
What clothes will you wear? How will your body feel, that many pounds lighter? How will you feel about yourself? How will others react to you?
Go ahead, fantasize. Roll around in it and see how good it feels. Bring that feeling up every time you want to fall off the wagon.
You can also incorporate new habits into your existing behavior systems. When you go grocery shopping, start in the produce department and load your cart with seasonal goodies. Or get one of those cute little carts, or a basket, instead of a behemoth.
Even with these strategies working in your favor, you’ll still need ongoing support. Coaching is custom-made for this.
Meet weekly with your coach, over the phone, and talk about your successes and challenges. Get encouragement, work together on new strategies or just vent.
Your chances of success will improve dramatically if you don’t try to do it all alone.
However, with all this in mind, it is no secret that some habits are easier to change than others. Giving up smoking, for example, can be a huge challenge, especially for someone who has been a smoker for a long time.
Nonetheless, by embracing new ways to cut down on nicotine consumption, such as by switching to vaping, even heavy smokers can turn their lives around. In case you were not already aware, vaping is regarded as a far safer alternative to smoking and so it is well worth giving it a try if you are struggling to quit cigarettes.
You can learn about vaping and discover the wide range of different products out there including vaping devices, flavored E-Liquid, and much more by doing some research online or by visiting your nearest vape shop.
Ultimately changing a bad habit is just a case of finding what works for you.
Do you have a habit you want to change?
Getting started
Here are some questions to get you started:
- How important to you is the change you want to make? Make sure it’s about you, and not someone else pressuring you “for your own good.”
- Why is changing this habit important to you, and why is that important? What you’re trying to identify is the way it will make you feel.
- If you don’t succeed, what will happen that you don’t want?
- If you do succeed, what will happen that you do want?
Changing negative behavior, regardless of what the old wives say, does take more than 21 days. But it can be done, with the proper attitude and support.
What habit have you been lugging around that you would like to change?