I read a wonderful escapist book Sunday — all 388 pages in one day — full of action and adventure in the Montana wilderness. The main character taught at-risk kids how to survive in the wilds, which gave them not just skills but the self-confidence to pursue what they had previously thought was unattainable.
He tells his young charges that they can moan and groan about fatigue and blisters and bugs, but before they quit, they need to STOP: Sit. Think. Observe. Plan. Not only does this work for wilderness survival but is a wonderful metaphor how we handle life and its challenges.
STOP: Sit. Think. Observe. Plan.
Maybe traffic has come to a dead standstill on your morning commute. Or your computer refuses to cough up that big presentation you’ve been working on. Or a loved one has just announced it’s time to end the relationship. STOP before you give up.
- Sit: Chill out for a bit. Separate yourself from whatever “it” is. Focus on your breath for a minute (or two or five). Inhale through your nose and exhale through your mouth. Feel how your chest moves as you breathe. Notice that your heart rate starts to diminish. When you calm down a bit, move on to the next step.
- Think: OK, you’re in a bad spot. Now what? The first thing you ask yourself is this, “Is there anything I can do about it? Can I change it or, even better, make it work to my advantage?”
- Observe: What is going on around you? What do you see (or hear or even smell) that can help you in your situation? Yeah, everything seems to be going to hell, but don’t assume everything in your situation or environment is hostile.
Let’s go back to that traffic situation. Vehicles are moving in the opposite direction, so whatever’s going on is on your side of the road. You hear multiple sirens and smell smoke, so you know that some kind of emergency is taking place and you could be stuck for a while.
Your presentation: What isn’t working? Is it the computer itself? Is it operator error? (I have learned the hard way — after much cussing and carrying on — that if the numbers pad on my laptop isn’t working, I’ve turned off the numbers lock.) Can you see the file and just not get it to open?
Your dead (or dying) relationship: What’s the body language? What is your partner saying, not just in words but in the tone of voice as well? Has everything been packed up and moved out?
- Plan: You’ve sat, thought and observed. Now it’s time to plan. What’s your next step?
You’re sitting there on the road: Is there another route you could take? If not, can you rearrange the appointments you’ve got set up and probably will miss? Since you’re not under way, can you make phone calls, check your emails, respond to texts? How about listen to audio books or music, or set up your schedule for the week?
Getting your presentation out of the computer may be as simple as tightening loose connections, rebooting or unplugging the computer from the wall, or searching by date for that misnamed file. The great long-term lesson here, learned the hard way, is to back up your files. When all else fails, call tech support.
Can your relationship be salvaged with better communication? Do you need to go to couple’s counseling? Do you need to alter your behavior in some fashion and, perhaps most importantly, do you want to?
Now…implement your plan
Plans are great, but they are worthless without implementation. Take the alternate route. Call your favorite computer geek. Set up a counseling session (or move on).
Be a survivor. Don’t let a situation force you to quit before you’ve had a chance to STOP.
This is a handy routine for business owners to follow as well. I also recommend my friend Clive Maloney’s wonderful blog article on the six questions business owners should ask themselves before throwing in the towel.