Turning fear into excitement

What’s the No. 1 thing that holds us back? What prevents us from trying new things, accepting new challenges? What keeps us rooted in places and situations that we know aren’t good for us?

Fear.  It’s an unconscious reaction – one that we cannot control – that occurs in the brain. It starts with some kind of stressful stimulus that jets chemicals in our bodies. Our hearts race. Our breath comes fast. Our muscles flood with adrenaline and blood and strength. We are ready to fight or flee.

Fear isn’t a bad thing. It keeps us sharp, on our toes. It prevents us from walking into traffic, stepping off a cliff or taking a shortcut down that dark alley. It’s about self-preservation.

But while fear can be a good and even necessary thing, how we react to it can constrict our lives into one long dull, endless day.

Fear and excitement: Same coin, different sides

What if we could turn fear into excitement?

It’s not as bizarre as it sounds. There already is an element of excitement with most fear. Think about it: Why do people love to jump out of perfectly good airplanes, ride outrageous roller coasters, climb impossible mountains or watch scary movies?

Quite simply, fear gives people a buzz.

Since the chemicals are already flowing, why not take advantage of that and turn them into experiences that are fun, that give life extra clarity and color? Why not reframe our fears – take that heightened physical reaction – and use them to create meaning, beauty, richness and depth in our lives?

If you have a fear of something that interferes with the activities of daily living, like the fear of being outside, and you can’t find a way around it alone, please seek qualified professional help. But if the things you fear are not life-threatening, but keep you from becoming the highest and best “you” that you can be, answer the questions below.

• Identify your fear: What is it that bothers you? What is it, specifically, that’s holding you back? It can be extremely helpful to keep asking “why” until you get to the cause of your fear. I’ll bet you a dozen donuts that your fear comes from something that happened to you as a child or something you heard from one of the Big People in your life…the ones who loved you and wanted to keep you safe.
• Ground-truth your fear:Is it realistic? Are you in physical danger? Is what you fear likely to occur? Measure your fear in light of its origin and see if there is really anything to fear.
• Change the conditions:What can you do to alter the situation? Is there additional work you can do, more research that needs to be done? Do you need to go to another location, or deal with different people?
• Take it to its illogical conclusion:What’s the very worst thing that can happen? Go ahead; take it to the extreme. Then ask yourself, if the worst thing does happen, can you survive it?

Fear is rarely fatal

Most of our fears involve the ego – being embarrassed or looking foolish or having people laugh at us. All of those are survivable; very few of the things we fear are fatal.

Do you have a better grasp on how your fear looks and what’s causing it? Great! Let’s use the answers you’ve already given, and ask a few more questions, and use your fears to you advantage to propel you forward.

• How would you feel if you overcame your fears?
• If you said “no” to fear and “yes” to excitement, how would that change your life?
• What could you accomplish if you kicked those fears to the curb?
• What would your life look like?
• If you fell down once or twice – or even thousands of times, like Thomas Edison did trying to find the perfect incandescent light bulb – how could you turn that experience to your advantage?
• What can you learn about yourself by overcoming those fears?
• What resources do you have – physical, emotional, financial, human capital and any others – which you can draw on to turn your fears around?

What have you got to lose…but your fear?

To learn more about how and why we become fearful, check out this fascinating article called How Fear Works.